No two family's Christmas trees are exactly alike. They are a unique representation of that family, their story, and the love they share. But to me, every tree is beautiful.
For my tree I prefer colored lights, not white. We have ornaments on our tree that my parents have had since before I was born and others we just added this year and of course every year in between. Some of our ornaments are just pretty ornaments that we liked and others have much deeper meanings. We've always used tinsel. The tinsel we are using now is blue. I chose it and I chose the blue because well...I love blue. But I love that it's not the typical color you see on a tree. Most of the time if someone is going to use tinsel it is red or green or most often white. We bought a new tree last year. It's pre-lit with both little lights and bigger lights. The big lights are what I fell in love with on this tree. Little lights are great but the big lights stand out and when I look at them I feel warm. I also love that this tree is tall. At 7.5 feet it's the tallest tree we've ever had. We put candy canes on our tree. I know most people don't anymore but we still do. I love all the different flavors of candy canes. This year we have regular peppermint, red hot flavor(I think that's what it was anyway), and the cherry with the blue, yellow, and red strips. We have an angel on top but we've had mostly stars in the past. I love our tree this year. I think it's a good combination of whimsical and nostalgic and magical and yet mature and beautiful. Up until the last few years we'd always waited until the day after Thanksgiving to put up our Christmas decorations. But the last few years my Mom and I have been putting it up early. I just want to enjoy it for as long as I can.
My favorite thing to do when it comes to the tree is to turn the lights off at night and sit in the floor in it's glow and soak it in. There is just nothing in this world like the warm sweet glow of a room lit only by Christmas tree lights.
I've done this a couple of times already this season. I feel such a range of emotions. It's like A Christmas Carol. I think of Christmas's past, Christmas this year, and future Christmas's.
As a child Christmas was always a big deal in my house. I have so many wonderful memories of those Christmases! I remember going back to school after Thanksgiving break to all the Christmas decorations and doing Christmas plays and doing Christmas arts and crafts. All the anticipation of Christmas break. I remember the excitement of when we started singing Christmas hymns at church. I remember driving around looking at Christmas lights as it got closer to Christmas. They used to put up a huge display at the city lake here and we'd go through it over and over. They stopped for several years but this year they are doing it again and I feel like I'm 8 again anxiously awaiting the chance to go through it again! I still watch the same Christmas movies we watched back then, I've just added a few. I remember going to my grandma's for Christmas and how excited I was to see her. She always made the best pies! I could go on and on but you get the picture.
As I got older and met my ex, I started going to his family's on Christmas Eve. He and I would take a night and go shopping for our families before then. Both of those things had become tradition for me. This will be the first time in 15 years I have no second family and no Christmas Eve plans and there won't be any Christmas shopping with him. There is part of me that feels a little relief. I can stay home and help mom finish up last minute things for our Christmas. But I can't lie there's a big part of me that feels sad. For 15 years these people were my family and in the blink of an eye they aren't. If any of you are reading this(which frankly is doubtful) I just want you to know I cherish those Christmas Eve memories. Thank you for including me and making me feel welcome. I may not cross your mind on Christmas Eve but I'll be thinking of you guys!
As I lay in front of the tree last night it occurred to me that this holiday season will be different than any other. This will be the first time as an adult that I will be single for the Holidays. My little circle is considerably smaller. It's time to find my own Christmas traditions. I have always loved the Holidays and this year will be no different. I can't wait to shop for my nephews and spoil them. That's the best part of Christmas for me now. It's been quite a year for me and there's been a lot of heartache, so I think I need Christmas more this year then ever and I plan to soak it all in as much as I can. I'm already enjoying our decorations and the movies and music! I think a little it of Christmas is just what my beat up bruised heart needs.
As I lay in front of my Christmas tree I also found myself thinking about future Christmas's. My nephews are getting older and it won't be long until they understand it all and they can really look forward to it and enjoy it, I can't wait for that. I hope to make my own traditions with them. I wonder will I ever see another Christmas that I get to spend with someone special? Will I ever have kids to enjoy Christmas with? The reality is I can't control those things right now, I can only soak in this Christmas and this Christmas alone. But it doesn't stop me from wondering what the future Holidays will look like.
We live in a world with so much ugly in it and I see it seeping into Christmas. Maybe it's just because I'm an adult but I see so many people losing the magic of Christmas. I see for so many that Christmas is just passing thought. They put up a few decorations a week before Christmas and take them down the day after and they never take a moment to sit and really enjoy it. I see people griping about people putting up Christmas stuff too early(both individuals and stores). I see and hear more people all the time saying things like "I'm just not that into Christmas". I wonder if they've really taken the time to make Christmas their own. I wonder if these people's problem is truly with Christmas and with it bleeding into Thanksgiving or is the problem within themselves and with how they allow things and themselves to get in the holiday season. I understand for some people for many reasons it's just not a happy time. But I think for some it's not a happy time because they don't really take the time to enjoy the little things or to really soak in the beauty of the season. I hear talk about "too much consumerism" and blah blah blah. In my home, that isn't how it is and I'd never let the way other people are about Christmas ruin it for me or mine. I guess it's just not something I can relate to and it just makes me sad to see other people feel so negatively about something that makes me feel so wonderful. I feel like I want it to last longer and longer and everyone else is trying to shove it into a couple of weeks and want it to be done and over with faster and faster every year. I guess I should be used to looking at things differently than everyone else 😂!
But as I sat in front of my Christmas tree last night I found myself thinking I hope I never lose the desire to put my Christmas stuff up on November 1st and to leave it up well past January 1st. I hope I never reach a point where I utter the words "I'm just not that into Christmas". I hope I never reach a point where the magic of Christmas doesn't leave me feeling intoxicated and warm and peaceful. I hope I never reach a point where my desire for Christmas is quenched and I don't want anymore. Because Christmas is about love and joy and peace, and is the last little bit of childhood magic you get to hold on to. Losing that would just be the such a sad thing for me. Those things make me feel alive and grateful and hopeful and they make me appreciate the people around me and all the good things in my life that much more. People always say "Thanksgiving first" and if that's how they choose to celebrate that's fine. But for me without the love, peace, hope and magic of the entire season there is nothing to be thankful for. They don't feel separate to me and celebrating them separately feels wrong to me. The things I'm thankful for are the very same things I'm celebrating and enjoying at Christmas. For me it's all connected and I could just never separate them. It's a time of year that only comes around once a year and I truly hope I never lose the desire to extend it further and soak in it more.
In my book, it's never too early for Christmas. It's never too early to turn everything off and sit in the dark in front of a Christmas tree and enjoy the beauty of it. No, to me it's never too early or too late to soak in the warmth of a beautifully lit warm Christmas tree. It's always the absolute perfect time! It's not about when you put it up, it's the love you enjoy around it. It's the moments you spend really soaking it in. It's the memories you make. This life is far too short to put off making memories and enjoying simple things like the magic and beauty of Christmas!
So if you don't already do it, once your tree is up don't forget to switch off the light and sit quietly in it's glow. I don't think you'll ever look at your tree or the magic of Christmas or the way it all makes you feel the same way if you do!
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