I love to listen to people talk

This is going to be another blog, that I don't know exactly where it's going. That seems to be the case with most of my blogs lol. Some people plan out everything they are going to write before they write it...that's not my style. Which is kind of funny because when I try to talk to someone I try to plan for everything I could need or want to say. But writing for me is a chance to just spill my guts. But on to what is on mind.

I've always been the quiet one. I'm an introvert. I'm shy. I have social anxiety. I've talked about all of those things in the past, so I won't get into that.

Most people are surprised to find out, I actually had lots of friends as  child. I had one super close friend and others that filtered in and out at different times. But no matter who was or even now is, in my circle I'm always the quietest one. It's not that I'm the quietest or shyest girl in the world, it's that I have always been drawn to people who are extroverts with big personalities(also we live in a world with far more extroverted outgoing people than introverted shy people lol).  I'd say of all the friends I've ever had, 98% or more of them are extroverts. I think I need that balance in my life. The thought of trying to be friends with someone like me, doesn't really appeal to me. I create enough awkward silence on my own lol.

I also think it surprises most people that while talking isn't really my thing, I love to listen to people talk. I like to talk to people online or through text but I truly love to listen to people talk in person. I like to watch how people's emotions change as they talk. I like to hear their laugh when they tell a funny story. I love to hear about people's lives, their dreams, their worries. I love to listen to parents talk about their kids(or grandparents talk about their grandkids) and see the love in their eyes. Even if they are talking about a problem they are having with their child, the love always shines through. There is just nothing better though than to listen to someone talk about something they are excited and passionate about and seeing their eyes light up. I can't explain it, I just enjoy that. I think that's why I like to watch Youtube vlogs lol. Listening to someone talk, helps me to feel more comfortable with them and eventually I'll start giving my opinions or adding my own stories.

But I've found as an adult, friendships have disappeared and/or have become really superficial.  I don't get a lot of opportunities to sit with most of the people I care about and just listen to them talk and talk with them. I miss it. I don't think I realized until just very recently after getting a chance to do just that, just how much I do miss that.

As a child, I found children were more willing to talk and be patient with you and give you time to get comfortable. Adults aren't.

Maybe it's because most adults have such busy schedules and so much going on, but they don't seem to like to give people time to warm up and have little patience with them. Also if I do feel comfortable with someone, I tend to word vomit and overwhelm them and make them uncomfortable. There is no in between for me.  So people end up just sticking with small talk around me. While I love to listen to people, I strongly dislike small talk....especially when it's done in a way that feels like an obligation.

So I find myself wondering what's wrong with me and wishing I was someone that I'm not. I've always wanted to be that extrovert with the big bubbly personality that everyone wants to be around. I tried a lot as teenager to be that. That's what everyone is looking for(even me without realizing it) and it always seemed so much easier than being the introvert that people didn't understand and didn't want to take the time to get to know.

But I also know the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I know from talking to friends who are extroverted and have big bubbly personalities because they are happy and bubbly most of the time that people just expect them to be all the time and nobody is happy and bubbly all the time. I'm sure it's frustrating to feel pressure to always be the happy bubbly one. I try really hard to not put those expectations on people because it's neither fair or realistic. As a whole, this worlds needs to do a better job pushing people to embrace who they are and feel what they feel. No one likes to be told who they are or what they feel in a certain moment is wrong. It hurts. So I say be your 100% authentic self and feel the way you feel and tell anyone who tells you otherwise to screw off lol.

Look Melinda chased another rabbit lol. Back to the point of the blog now!

So I guess what I'm saying is, if you haven't taken the time to really sit down with someone and put all of your energy into listening to them, try it sometime. You'll probably learn something and might even enjoy yourself. Also when it comes to those of us who are quieter and who take longer to warm up, be patient and don't be afraid to talk to us. I can't speak for everyone who is quieter and slow to warm up but I love to hear people talk about themselves and their lives and their hopes and dreams and their worries and I'll jump in when I'm ready and comfortable. You never know who you'll miss out on getting to know if you just blow off us quiet people lol.

I don't really know that this blog makes any sense at all or is even interesting but there it is lol. Here are a couple of pictures that go along with this blog that I like!