Hey guys! It has been a crazy couple of weeks! I’m glad last week is over; I am ready for a new and hopefully better week! I want to first start off by talking about something very near and dear to my heart! September is childhood cancer awareness month. We all know October is breast cancer awareness month but few people know about September. Childhood cancers in general receive less funding and therefore fewer studies than adult cancers do. That is just so wrong. These kids deserve so much better than that! Our health care system is failing our kids! So if you feel the same way get the word out there! Wear a gold ribbon, put a picture of a gold ribbon as your profile picture, and most importantly spread the word!
I’ve always believed everything happens for reason. I’ve also always believed that God brings people in your life and takes them out of your life at just the right time. The bringing people in my life is easy to handle. He brings great people in my life and they always seem to show up at the right. But him taking people out of my life is the hard thing to handle. There is a person who I was really close too for a long time at one point in my life. But things change and for whatever reason she was taken out of my life. I thought at the time that I would eventually just stop thinking about her and it would just be a wonderful memory. I’m still waiting for that day. I wonder if she thinks about me. I wonder if she misses me or if she just moved on. I always secretly hoped something would bring us together again and we would pick up where we left off…10 years later I know that just isn’t an option. But my heart still secretly hopes! When most people think of a soul mate they think of it as a romantic thing. Although I have a wonderful boyfriend of 9 years, I don’t view soul mates as necessarily a romantic thing. I fully believe she was my soul mate. She understood me and I understood her. We could look at each other and know what the other was thinking. No matter how hard I tried to hide it she could tell when I was sad, scared, or angry and she always knew how to cheer me up and I did the same for her. I’ve wondered many times how we messed up something so beautiful and I guess the truth is we were 14. We didn’t understand what we had or at least I didn’t. I had done a pretty good job of pushing this out of my mind until recently. I’ve seen her twice in the last week and both times my heart just stopped and I had to hold back and keep myself from running to her and giving her a hug. She has been on my mind a lot since then and all those old questions keep coming back. The only thing I know for sure is God gives and God takes away and he gave me several wonderful years and hundreds of wonderful memories with this person and then he took her away from me. He has plan. It’s up to me to figure out what it is. But let me tell you, knowing all that doesn’t make any of this easy.
I should so be sleeping because I have church in the morning but sleep isn’t coming easy for me tonight. There isn’t much new about that. I have always been a night owl and suffered from insomnia! One thing I am not is a morning person! People think I’m nuts when they realize that most nights I’m not asleep until 3 or 4 in the morning and sleep until 11 or so. But I love being up at night after everyone has gone to sleep and the house is so quiet! It’s a great time for thinking!
Well that is all for now! Guess I better go get some sleep lol! God bless you all!
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