I wrote this letter a few months ago. It’s a letter to me, well to me when I was 14. That was a really rough year for me. I really felt like I would never amount to anything or mean anything to anybody. I felt so depressed and so alone, probably more than I ever have. I even thought about suicide. I even had a plan but I never went through with it. I always say I was too chicken but the truth is God wouldn’t let me. He had a plan for my life and me ending it at 14 wasn’t part of that plan! I am almost 24 and looking back me at 14 there are so many things I wish I could tell myself and this letter is just a few of them!
Dear 14 year old me,
Do not be afraid to be who you truly are! You are beautiful and wonderful because God made you and he has a plan for you! I know it feels like your life is over but it’s just beginning! She was a great friend for a lot of years! You have wonderful memories with her but it’s time to move on. It is for the best! It hurts like hell (I wish I could say it gets easier or better but you just get used to it) but it is for the best! I know the bullying is constant and the words hurt so badly. But remember the things they are saying aren’t true. It’s not about you, it’s about them. You don’t deserve what they are doing to you, nobody does! Their words and their blows will stay with you but one day you will understand it was never about you! You are a wonderful, smart, and beautiful person! You may never be a super model, a professional athlete, an actress, or a singer. You may never even be known by more than just a hand full of people. But that’s okay because God is in control! He has a plan! Hold your head up proud because you are one of a kind and you are special! You think these problems seem petty but they aren’t petty! If they don’t feel petty to you then they aren’t petty! Enjoy every minute because it will go by so fast! Life is a rough journey. There are so many ups and downs. Sometimes the downs can be really painful and bad! Sometimes life just flat sucks. But the good moments, the moments that take your breath away are what makes life worth living and I promise there are many of those ahead! I am writing these things now because there wasn’t anyone to tell me these things back then. Because I was a big girl and I could handle my problems! So if there is one thing I have learned from all of this it’s to not be afraid to ask for help! See 14 year old me all this pain, anger, depression, sadness, and fear aren’t for nothing! You are learning many lessons through all those tears! Those tears and pain are making you into the person you were always meant to be! Never give up!! It does get better!
Love,
A much wiser older me
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