I spent a good amount of time as a child trying to understand why I was different than the people around me. I picked a group of friends with big bubbly personalities who thrived in social settings and I didn't do it just once. I'd guess probably 95% of the people I've had or have as friends were/are extroverts. I wanted to be that way myself. But I wasn't. I tried to fake it(if you can find my long lost MySpace page, it'll tell you I'm outgoing....Yeah right lol) but I was very bad at it! I was probably an adult before I heard the word introvert. When I read the description, it was like a light came on in my head! All I could think was this is me! It's taken lots of time for me to accept that I'm never going to be the bubbly outgoing one. I'm never going to be the life of the party. I'm never going to be the one who can talk to anybody. But I'm learning to embrace the things I am and forget the things I'm not(it's a work in progress). Here are somethings I want you to know and things that will make things easier on me and the people I interact with.
10. I'm not dumb or stupid. Don't take my silence or awkwardness as a lack of intelligence. I know that sounds like an obvious statement but I have been treated many times in the past like a moron because I'm quiet and shy. I don't like it and I don't know anybody who would. Treating me that way will instantly cause me to shut down and you probably will never hear a meaningful word from me again.
9. I might have a hard exterior but I'm a pile of goo when you get past that. I'm a very sensitive person. You don't need to use words to cut me deep. I spend lots of time watching people and analyzing them and because of that actions can cause as much or more damage to me as words. I watch how you treat other people. I watch how you talk to other people. When you choose treat me differently I'm going to notice. On the flip side I also notice when someone goes out of their way to check on me, include me, and show me love and respect.
8. If you truly want to get to know me, don't try to do it in a group setting. A group setting is overwhelming, uncomfortable, and exhausting for me. You won't get the best part of me there. I actually like to talk to people and get to know them but I feel the most comfortable being able to do that one on one. Most people are blown away and sometimes overwhelmed by how much I'll talk in a one on one setting with someone I trust :).
7. Along those same lines, I don't like small talk and I'm frankly not that good at it. That is probably when I'm at my most awkward! But I can talk all day about interests, feelings, hopes, and dreams. I love to listen to people talk about themselves and their problems or worries and their hopes and dreams. I don't want to hear about the weather or the football game, I want hear about you! I think some people approach me think I want to hear the opposite but that couldn't be further from the truth!
6. I like to write and its much easier for me than talking. I like to write letters to people(most of which have never been read lol) because it allows me to get my feelings out. So if you really truly want to get to know me and get past my wall, write me a letter, a Facebook message, or ask for my number and text me. Eventually I'll be able to vocally open to you but it takes time, so be patient with me!
5. Like many introverts, I need my creative activities and most times I need those to be solo activities. I love music. I love to sing. I love to play instruments. I love to just listen to music. I also love to do arts and crafts(can never have too much glitter :D). I've recently started coloring and it's heavenly! I spent 3+ hours totally lost in a coloring page the other day and it was beyond heavenly! It was the most recharged I'd felt in ages. I also love to read!
4. I don't like conflict. I don't like drama. So sometimes I take more crap than I should. But that doesn't mean I won't remember what you did or said to try cause drama and it doesn't mean I'll put myself in a position to deal with your drama again.
3. Once I let you in my wall, it takes a lot to get rid of me :). So you better make sure your good with that before getting to know me! You should feel lucky if I let you in my wall because it doesn't happen often!
2. I don't like to approach people with my problems or even just to say I miss you and I miss talking to you. I constantly worry I'll be a bother to someone if I do, so it's easier to just not reach out. So if I tell you I'm fine and you know I'm not, keep pushing and let me know you want to talk and I'm not a not a bother. I might put on a tough act and say I don't need anyone but I do! I'm still human and I still crave that human interaction. I still find myself in need of a shoulder to cry on.
1. Along those same lines, just because I love my alone time and need it, I still get lonely! I see a lot of talk about people who are introverts not getting lonely but I'm not that way. I feel a constant struggle between wanting to stay in my box and wanting to reach out to people. It gets frustrating and lonely sometimes.
The main thing I feel people need to know about me is while being an introvert certainly has its down side, I'm happy with who I am. If I suddenly switched personalities and became that outgoing, bubbly, extroverted person I wanted to be when I was younger I wouldn't be me! There is nothing wrong with being an extrovert either. As I already mentioned, I'm drawn to them. They make up a big portion of my circle. It takes all kinds to make the world go round :).
But I am very much a work in progress. I've been really struggling lately because I want to reach out to someone and I don't know how or what to say. I want to just be able to say "I miss you and I miss talking to you, let's talk" but every time I try something stops me. It's aggravating but I know everyone has their flaws and things they have to work on, this is mine.
I hope in the future that in general people are more accepting of introverted people. I hope introverted kids especially are better accepted and given the chance to just be. Because I know from experience being pushed to be something you aren't is awful. I would tell kids who are going through that to ignore those people and embrace who they are, because there is nothing wrong with who they are!
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Volcanoes 5!
I've always been terrible at finishing and the volcano posts were no exception lol. But I need a distraction tonight so here I am. Also last week marked the 35th anniversary of the eruption of Mount St. Helens and she's number 1 on my list. It's where this whole thing started for me. The second volcano in this blog is visible from Mount St. Helens. It reminds me a lot of Mount St. Helens pre eruption. Yep it's Mount Rainer.
2. Mount Rainer
Mount Rainer is located in Washington state 54 miles southeast of Seattle. It is part of the cascade Mountain Range. At an elevation of 14,411ft it is the tallest mountain of the Cascade Range and in Washington. On clear days it can be seen well from Seattle and Tacoma. On very clear days it can.be seen from Portland, Oregon and Victoria, British Columbia.
Mount Rainer is covered in glaciers and snowfields and because of that it is considered one of the most dangerous volcanoes in the world. It's listed on the Decade List(here's a link that explains the Decade List http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decade_Volcanoes). If it were to erupt(or maybe I should say when it erupts) the melting of its glaciers and snow fields would cause devastating lahars that would effect dozens of towns. The last eruption is believed to have been at the end of the 1800s. Although it's been 100+ years since its last eruption it is still active and busy. There are around 5 earthquakes at the mountain a month and there are times that there are swarms of earthquakes. I think people have been lulled by the mountains beauty, much like Mount St. Helens but it's still a dangerous volcano.
I like Mount Rainer because of its beauty and prominence. I haven't seen a picture of it that didn't take my breath away. You can just see the power it contains by looking at it.
1. Mount St. Helens
Mount St. Helens is also part of the Cascade mountain range in Washington. It is located 96 miles south of Seattle and 50 miles northeast of Portland, Oregon.
Mount St. Helens is geologically the youngest mountain in the Cascade range but the most active.
The most famous eruption of Mount St. Helens is of course the May 18, 1980 eruption. At 8:32 AM PDT a 5.1 earthquake caused a massive landslide that released the gases in the volcano causing a large lateral explosion. The explosion knocked down trees and scorched everything to the north of the volcano in a 30km wide fan shaped area of an area of 20km. The eruption melted the glaciers and snow on the mountain causing huge lahars that flowed down the North Fork of the Toutle River. As the lahar traveled it picked up trees and other stuff. For 9 hours Mount St. Helens continue to erupt with Plinian column that rose high in the sky and pyroclastic flows down the sides of the mountain.
When the ash cleared Mount St. Helens and the area around it were completely different. The volcano which once stood 9,677 feet was now 8, 365 feet with a giant horseshoe crater. The trees were all leveled and most living things were dead. Spirit lake had been filled with dirt and rocks from the landslide. So much so that the bottom of the lake now sits higher that the top of the lake used to. The area was covered in ash.
The eruption killed 57 people and thousands of animals, destroyed or severely damaged 250 homes, 185 miles of highway, 47 bridges, and 15 miles of railway.
But lots of things were learned not only during the eruption but also in the months before and the months and even years after. The things the volcanologist learned from Mount St. Helens has save many many lives.
I was in the 5th grade the first time I heard about Mount St. Helens. I had an amazing Science teacher and we spent several days studying Mount St. Helens and volcanoes in general. By the end of it Mount.St. Helens hooked. I'm not sure what it is about Mount St. Helens that hooked me but some 16 odd years later I still watch and read anything about Mount St. Helens that I can get my hands on. I've watched it erupt and change. I've watched the land around it continue to rebound. I plan to spend the rest of my life continuing to watch it and learn about it and enjoying whatever she had in store.
Well that finally wraps up my list but I will continue to post about different volcanoes and eruptions. Volcanos are always erupting and I'm always discovering new volcanos.
PS: Random tidbit, my mom graduated high school on May 18th, 1980. For some reason I've always thought that was cool lol.
2. Mount Rainer
Mount Rainer is located in Washington state 54 miles southeast of Seattle. It is part of the cascade Mountain Range. At an elevation of 14,411ft it is the tallest mountain of the Cascade Range and in Washington. On clear days it can be seen well from Seattle and Tacoma. On very clear days it can.be seen from Portland, Oregon and Victoria, British Columbia.
Mount Rainer is covered in glaciers and snowfields and because of that it is considered one of the most dangerous volcanoes in the world. It's listed on the Decade List(here's a link that explains the Decade List http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decade_Volcanoes). If it were to erupt(or maybe I should say when it erupts) the melting of its glaciers and snow fields would cause devastating lahars that would effect dozens of towns. The last eruption is believed to have been at the end of the 1800s. Although it's been 100+ years since its last eruption it is still active and busy. There are around 5 earthquakes at the mountain a month and there are times that there are swarms of earthquakes. I think people have been lulled by the mountains beauty, much like Mount St. Helens but it's still a dangerous volcano.
I like Mount Rainer because of its beauty and prominence. I haven't seen a picture of it that didn't take my breath away. You can just see the power it contains by looking at it.
1. Mount St. Helens
Mount St. Helens is also part of the Cascade mountain range in Washington. It is located 96 miles south of Seattle and 50 miles northeast of Portland, Oregon.
Mount St. Helens is geologically the youngest mountain in the Cascade range but the most active.
The most famous eruption of Mount St. Helens is of course the May 18, 1980 eruption. At 8:32 AM PDT a 5.1 earthquake caused a massive landslide that released the gases in the volcano causing a large lateral explosion. The explosion knocked down trees and scorched everything to the north of the volcano in a 30km wide fan shaped area of an area of 20km. The eruption melted the glaciers and snow on the mountain causing huge lahars that flowed down the North Fork of the Toutle River. As the lahar traveled it picked up trees and other stuff. For 9 hours Mount St. Helens continue to erupt with Plinian column that rose high in the sky and pyroclastic flows down the sides of the mountain.
When the ash cleared Mount St. Helens and the area around it were completely different. The volcano which once stood 9,677 feet was now 8, 365 feet with a giant horseshoe crater. The trees were all leveled and most living things were dead. Spirit lake had been filled with dirt and rocks from the landslide. So much so that the bottom of the lake now sits higher that the top of the lake used to. The area was covered in ash.
The eruption killed 57 people and thousands of animals, destroyed or severely damaged 250 homes, 185 miles of highway, 47 bridges, and 15 miles of railway.
But lots of things were learned not only during the eruption but also in the months before and the months and even years after. The things the volcanologist learned from Mount St. Helens has save many many lives.
I was in the 5th grade the first time I heard about Mount St. Helens. I had an amazing Science teacher and we spent several days studying Mount St. Helens and volcanoes in general. By the end of it Mount.St. Helens hooked. I'm not sure what it is about Mount St. Helens that hooked me but some 16 odd years later I still watch and read anything about Mount St. Helens that I can get my hands on. I've watched it erupt and change. I've watched the land around it continue to rebound. I plan to spend the rest of my life continuing to watch it and learn about it and enjoying whatever she had in store.
Well that finally wraps up my list but I will continue to post about different volcanoes and eruptions. Volcanos are always erupting and I'm always discovering new volcanos.
PS: Random tidbit, my mom graduated high school on May 18th, 1980. For some reason I've always thought that was cool lol.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
10 things I want my nephew to know
My dear sweet Z-Bug,
I never dreamed I could love someone as much as I love you!
You are 4 months old and it's still so surreal to me that you are ours! I've been around many babies and seen them smile and I've always said there is nothing like it. But your smile is a million times better! It's like it cuts straight through my soul in the best possible way! It literally turns me into a big gooey pile of emotions!
The day you were born was the best day of my life. I never knew I could love a baby so much that wasn't mine!
I find myself in this tug of war. I want you to stay little. You fit in my arms perfectly and are so sweet to cuddle. But I also look forward to watching you grow and change and learn! I look forward to you walking, talking, hearing you say my name and tell me you love me, taking you to the park, swimming with you in our pool, and literally thousands of other things. But the reality is you are going to grow up, so here are some things I want you to know.
Remember to stop and smell the roses. The older you get the faster time flies by. Remember to slow down every once in awhile and enjoy the beauty around you. A sunset, the stars, a deer in a pasture, or a sleeping baby. Those are the moments that keep you grounded and sane.
Looking back on my 27 years of life if I could go back and do more, it would be learning. You should gather all the knowledge you can. Find a subject you are interested in and find out everything you can about it and then pick another subject and do it again. Knowledge is power. You never know when that information will come on handy. Learning is fun, despite what friends will tell you later on!
Laugh often. Laughing just makes you feel better. Laughing is the best way to end an argument or break tension. Laugh at yourself because sometimes you're going to be able to do nothing but laugh at yourself.
Give 100% of yourself to people who deserve it. Sometimes you'll know who deserves it and sometimes you'll think someone deserves it who doesn't. People will use you and hurt you. But there will be many lessons learned from that pain, embrace those lessons. But you should give 100% of yourself to the people you find that are truly worth your time. They deserve it and it will be rewarding for you.
You were born into quite the melting pot of people. You will come in contact with people with all kinds of differences. Instead of trying to force them into a box and make them just like you, embrace their differences! Differences aren't bad and they don't need to be fixed. There are many things you can learn from people with key differences, learn them. You'll never know who you'll miss out on getting to know if you try to change people instead of just embracing them.
You'll have times where you'll feel like your childhood is going to last forever. You're going to want to shave, drive, and date. But your childhood will be the most simple time in your life. It's the time to scrape your knees up 100 times, enjoy cartoons, play with toys, make friends, and make memories. Enjoy it!
I spent way too many years trying to change who I was, don't do that. It's a waste of time. You can't change who you are and you don't need to. God made you exactly who you are supposed to be. He has big plans for you! If someone in your life is not okay with who you are, they aren't worth your time!
Failure is apart of life. It's a hard part of life but a part of it none the less
Don't be afraid of failure. Out of the ashes of failure comes the biggest successes. Failures are opportunities to learn.
Asking for help is not always easy but do it! It's okay to admit you need help. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of being human.
I want you to grow up and go on all the adventures you desire. I want you to try everything and learn everything you can. I believe you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. I even want you to make mistakes because that's when you find out who you are! But remember where you came from. That's where your roots are and where your strength and courage come from. Always remember you have parents who longed and fought for you! You won't always like them but they will always love you! You are your grandparents dream come true and they adore you and would do anything for you! And I, your Tia, think you hung the moon and stars! I never had the chance to have an aunt that was an active part of my life but you will! I adore you more than you could ever understand and I will be here for you no matter what! I'm so proud to be your Tia! Tia is the most amazing title I've ever held because of you!
Love Always,
Your Tia <3
I never dreamed I could love someone as much as I love you!
You are 4 months old and it's still so surreal to me that you are ours! I've been around many babies and seen them smile and I've always said there is nothing like it. But your smile is a million times better! It's like it cuts straight through my soul in the best possible way! It literally turns me into a big gooey pile of emotions!
The day you were born was the best day of my life. I never knew I could love a baby so much that wasn't mine!
I find myself in this tug of war. I want you to stay little. You fit in my arms perfectly and are so sweet to cuddle. But I also look forward to watching you grow and change and learn! I look forward to you walking, talking, hearing you say my name and tell me you love me, taking you to the park, swimming with you in our pool, and literally thousands of other things. But the reality is you are going to grow up, so here are some things I want you to know.
Remember to stop and smell the roses. The older you get the faster time flies by. Remember to slow down every once in awhile and enjoy the beauty around you. A sunset, the stars, a deer in a pasture, or a sleeping baby. Those are the moments that keep you grounded and sane.
Looking back on my 27 years of life if I could go back and do more, it would be learning. You should gather all the knowledge you can. Find a subject you are interested in and find out everything you can about it and then pick another subject and do it again. Knowledge is power. You never know when that information will come on handy. Learning is fun, despite what friends will tell you later on!
Laugh often. Laughing just makes you feel better. Laughing is the best way to end an argument or break tension. Laugh at yourself because sometimes you're going to be able to do nothing but laugh at yourself.
Give 100% of yourself to people who deserve it. Sometimes you'll know who deserves it and sometimes you'll think someone deserves it who doesn't. People will use you and hurt you. But there will be many lessons learned from that pain, embrace those lessons. But you should give 100% of yourself to the people you find that are truly worth your time. They deserve it and it will be rewarding for you.
You were born into quite the melting pot of people. You will come in contact with people with all kinds of differences. Instead of trying to force them into a box and make them just like you, embrace their differences! Differences aren't bad and they don't need to be fixed. There are many things you can learn from people with key differences, learn them. You'll never know who you'll miss out on getting to know if you try to change people instead of just embracing them.
You'll have times where you'll feel like your childhood is going to last forever. You're going to want to shave, drive, and date. But your childhood will be the most simple time in your life. It's the time to scrape your knees up 100 times, enjoy cartoons, play with toys, make friends, and make memories. Enjoy it!
I spent way too many years trying to change who I was, don't do that. It's a waste of time. You can't change who you are and you don't need to. God made you exactly who you are supposed to be. He has big plans for you! If someone in your life is not okay with who you are, they aren't worth your time!
Failure is apart of life. It's a hard part of life but a part of it none the less
Don't be afraid of failure. Out of the ashes of failure comes the biggest successes. Failures are opportunities to learn.
Asking for help is not always easy but do it! It's okay to admit you need help. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of being human.
I want you to grow up and go on all the adventures you desire. I want you to try everything and learn everything you can. I believe you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. I even want you to make mistakes because that's when you find out who you are! But remember where you came from. That's where your roots are and where your strength and courage come from. Always remember you have parents who longed and fought for you! You won't always like them but they will always love you! You are your grandparents dream come true and they adore you and would do anything for you! And I, your Tia, think you hung the moon and stars! I never had the chance to have an aunt that was an active part of my life but you will! I adore you more than you could ever understand and I will be here for you no matter what! I'm so proud to be your Tia! Tia is the most amazing title I've ever held because of you!
Love Always,
Your Tia <3
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Volcanoes 4!
So I told ya I'd be back soon lol! Orginally this was supposed to be the lava lake in Africa and Etna in Europe. But I being a woman changed my mind lol! I love the lava lake but it's not really a volcano. So instead I've chosen to do Popocatepetl(if you can pronounce that you are doing better than me lol) in Mexico! One thing I love about volcanoes is that they are all so different. No two volcanoes look alike, erupt alike, work alike, ect. They are like people and they all have their own look and personality. The two volcanoes I've chosen for this blog are very different! But equally beautiful!
4. Popocatepetl
Popocatepetl is located 43 miles southesat of Mexico City. On days when the sky is clear it can be seen from Mexico City. It is very large! It's the 2nd highest peek in Mexico at 17, 802 feet! It used to be covered in glaciers but those glaciers melt thanks to a combination of global warming and incresed volcanic activity. There is still ice on the volcano but not the giant glaciers it used to have. Popcatepetl is the most active volcano in Mexico. It has had 15 major eruptions since 1519. There are many legends about this volcano like many other volcanos. But I think the legends about Popocatepetl and another volcano near Popocatepetl called Iztaccihuatl are especially interesting. Legend has it that Iztaccihuatl was a princess and Popocatepetl was a warrior. Iztaccihuatl's father sent Popocatepetl to war in Oaxaca. He promised him his daughter as his wife if he returned. Her father told her Popocatepetl had died in battle and she died of grief. When Popocatepetl returned from war and found out about Iztaccihuatl's death he killed himself by plunging a dagger through his heart. The legend says that God turned them to mountains and covered them with snow. Iztaccihuatl's mountain was called "La Mujer Dormida", the sleeping woman, because it looks like a woman sleeping on her back. Popocatepetl rains down fire on earth in a blind rage at the loss of his love. There are other legends you can look up but this is my favorite.
I like this volcano because of it's size. It's huge and its size is a constant reminder to me of its power.
3. Mt. Etna
4. Popocatepetl
I like this volcano because of it's size. It's huge and its size is a constant reminder to me of its power.
3. Mt. Etna
Mt. Etna is on the east coast of Sicily, Italy. It is the tallest volcano on the European continent (3,329 M or 10,922 ft tall). It is one of the most active volcanos in the world. It is in an almost constant state of eruption. Etna has many craters and vents. There have been at least 60 flank eruptions and countless summit eruptions since AD1600. Etna puts on some amazing shows. I included one video but you can search Youtube and find dozens more. It made my list because of that. It provides many different types of eruptions for scientist and other people to study and learn from. Like most other volcanos it provides fertile land for the people who live around it to grow things. I've always been amazed by Etna and would love love love to see it in person some day!
Hopefully it won't take me as long to get back with the next/last volcanos! I found a new website to do research and learn about volcanos and I am totally excited, so there might be more volcano blogs coming your way :)!
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Gilmore Girls and other stuff!
I have tried this so many times before and never finished it. But this time I'm going to get it finished and posted! I have 2 main obsessions, softball and Gilmore Girls. I have another blog you can check out if you want my thoughts on softball(although I haven't updated it in quite awhile lol). But I've never actually done a blog about Gilmore Girls, so I decided it was time. I'm going to do my top 10 favorite episodes! I started off with 20 and then got it down to 10 and then rearranged them and finally got a list I can honestly say I like and works. So here we go!
10. Season 7 Episode 22- Bon Voyage
This is the last episode of the show. Luke puts together a graduation party for Rory. It just warms my heart! Rory gets a job and it's going to take her away for a long time. The party is amazing and emotional. The best part of the show is that Luke and Lorelei get back together and the show ends where it started, Luke's Diner. I love the way the show ended, but hate that it had to end.
9. Season 4 Episode 7- The Festival of Living Art
Starshollow agrees to do the Festival of Living Art for another town who can't because of a flood. The Festival of Living Art is people posing as famous paintings and statues. It's an awesome concept! The make-up and costumes for this episode were amazing! They won awards for it! Also in this episode Lane 's band gets s nee guitarist named Gill. Gill is played by real life rock star Sebastian Bach(who I love on the show and an artist!). To end the episode Skokie finally gives birth to little Davey at home!
8. Season 7 Episode 20- Lorelei? Lorelei?
In this episode, Rory is freaking out because she didn't get the internship at the New York Times. She comes home and her and Lorelei go out to a karaoke night. Lorelai has too much to drink and sings "I Will Always Love You" to Luke. In my opinion, that was one of the best moments of the whole show! Lauren Graham has an amazing voice and for the first and only time in the show we get to see it! Gives me goosebumps every time I watch it! At the end of the show Logan shows up and asked Lorelei if he could ask Rory to marry him. The look on Lorelai's face pretty well summed up what I thought the first time I saw it..
.... NO!!! Thankfully in the next episode, Rory says no.
7. Season 7 Episode 12- To Whom It May Conceren
In the episode before this Luke filed for shared custody of April. He asked Lorelai to write a character reference for him. In this episode, Luke and Anna have their hearing and with the help of Lorelai's reference Luke wins. Christopher finds the copy and flips out. The letter is the beginning of the end of his and Lorelai's marriage. I was thrilled! I never liked them together.
6. Season 6 Episode 9- The Prodigal Daughter Returns
Before this episode Rory is told by Mitchum Huntsburger that she doesn't have what it takes to be a journalist. She gets in trouble with Logan and decides to take sometime off from Yale. All of this causes a problem between her and her mom. In this episode, Rory finally comes to her senses and gets her life back on track. Most importantly she her and Lorelai make up! Also in this episode April appears. She shows up at the diner and takes a piece of Luke's hair to do a DNA. It proves Luke is her father. A lot of people say this was the beginning of the end of the show. Even Amy Sherman Palladino(the creator and producer of the show for first 6 seasons) said she put in April to kill the show when it became apparent her and the WB weren't going to be able to work out a deal for her contract. But I like April and I like the side of Luke she brought out. After all it is the only chance we ended up getting to see Luke as a father :) .
5. Season 1 Episode 1- The Pilot
This is the episode where it all started! This is the episode where we meet most of the characters. This is also where the storyline is introduced. Everything looks very different(the town, Luke's Diner, and Lorelai and Rory's house) but it's a beautiful episode.
4. Season 4 Episode 22- Raincoats and Recipes
In this episode, the time has finally come for the Dragon Fly Inn to open! Lorelai has all of her friends plus her parents come to the inn for a trial run. It goes well(with the exception of a few things but I'm not giving away all the secrets lol) and the night ends with Lorelai and Luke's first kiss! Rory and Dean end up having sex despite the fact that Dean is married. It starts a crazy new relationship between. I hated it. I thought putting them back together like that was all wrong.
3. Season 4 Episode 21- Last Week Fights, This Week Tights
In this episode, Liz and TJ get married .They have a Renaissance wedding and it so fits them! But beautiful and actually looks like a lot of fun! Luke takes Lorelai as his date to the wedding. They dance and have a good time. Luke walks her home and finally ask her out. It's one of the most long awaited moments of the show! Jess shows up and ask Rory to run away with him but she won't.
2. Season 5 Episode 3- Written In The Stars
Luke and Lorelai go on their first date! It's very beautiful and for more Gilmore Girls fans long awaited lol. They begin to talk about the first time they met and Luke pulls out a horoscope Lorelai gave him the first time they met! There is a long very sweet story that goes with it and it was just an adorable moment!
1. Season 3 Episode 13- Dear Emily and Richard
I'm honestly not sure why I love this episode so much but I do! In this episode, Sherry gives birth to GiGi. Christopher is out of town and everyone else is busy so Rory ends up at the hospital with her and when it looks like Christopher isn't going to make it she panics and calls Lorelai who comes to the hospital as well. Christopher does make it though. This episode is full of flashbacks of when Lorelai found out she was pregnant, her pregnancy, when Rory was born, and when she left her parents her house. The first time I saw this episode it made me cry. I guess just seeing how far Lorelai had come was amazing and emotional. It gives you parts of the story that you didn't have before.
It was really hard to explain why I liked these episodes and there are probably a dozen more(if not more) that I could include. I've never watched a show that relaxed me or made me as happy as Gilmore Girls. I love that so much of the show is set in Fall and Winter. I love the special thing Lorelai has with snow because it's the same way for me. I love the quick pace and the witty humor. I love how each of the characters are so different and yet share so many similarities and there are things about all of them you can relate to. I love all the individual stories inside the bigger story line. I love all the story women. Lorelai and Rory of course but Emily Lane, Sookie, Mrs. Kim, Miss Patty, Paris. All of the women are strong women. I love how several actors and actresses have play 2 or more parts on the show. The make up and costumes are usually good enough you can't tell my looking at them but I can usually tell by their voices. I've watched the show from beginning to end many times and it just never gets old!
Back to reality now, I've been reading back through old blogs and was struck by how sad and lonely I sounded. But that's passed. I'm actually in a good place right now. I was supposed to go to WTAMU this Fall but upon searching my heart I realized that wasn't what I wanted. I was again doing what I was supposed to. So the plan is now to get a job. I'm going to start off applying at daycares and go from there. I plan to save up and go through a course to become a midwife. But it's expensive and there is no financial aid. So it's going to be awhile before that happens. I'd love to be a nanny for someone but I think that would require me to have a drivers license and possibly a car. I could do the license pretty quickly but the car is another story. I guess we'll see what I can find. My biological clock is ticking so to speak. I want babies. I have always wanted babies. For reasons I am not discussing on here, I believe that isn't going to be an easy thing for me. The older I get the more I worry it won't happen. I think the funny thing is I feel no rush to get married. I feel people rushing me but I don't feel a rush myself. But the Babies thing is another story. Well that's all for now! Hopefully I'll write more often now.
10. Season 7 Episode 22- Bon Voyage
This is the last episode of the show. Luke puts together a graduation party for Rory. It just warms my heart! Rory gets a job and it's going to take her away for a long time. The party is amazing and emotional. The best part of the show is that Luke and Lorelei get back together and the show ends where it started, Luke's Diner. I love the way the show ended, but hate that it had to end.
9. Season 4 Episode 7- The Festival of Living Art
Starshollow agrees to do the Festival of Living Art for another town who can't because of a flood. The Festival of Living Art is people posing as famous paintings and statues. It's an awesome concept! The make-up and costumes for this episode were amazing! They won awards for it! Also in this episode Lane 's band gets s nee guitarist named Gill. Gill is played by real life rock star Sebastian Bach(who I love on the show and an artist!). To end the episode Skokie finally gives birth to little Davey at home!
8. Season 7 Episode 20- Lorelei? Lorelei?
In this episode, Rory is freaking out because she didn't get the internship at the New York Times. She comes home and her and Lorelei go out to a karaoke night. Lorelai has too much to drink and sings "I Will Always Love You" to Luke. In my opinion, that was one of the best moments of the whole show! Lauren Graham has an amazing voice and for the first and only time in the show we get to see it! Gives me goosebumps every time I watch it! At the end of the show Logan shows up and asked Lorelei if he could ask Rory to marry him. The look on Lorelai's face pretty well summed up what I thought the first time I saw it..
.... NO!!! Thankfully in the next episode, Rory says no.
7. Season 7 Episode 12- To Whom It May Conceren
In the episode before this Luke filed for shared custody of April. He asked Lorelai to write a character reference for him. In this episode, Luke and Anna have their hearing and with the help of Lorelai's reference Luke wins. Christopher finds the copy and flips out. The letter is the beginning of the end of his and Lorelai's marriage. I was thrilled! I never liked them together.
6. Season 6 Episode 9- The Prodigal Daughter Returns
Before this episode Rory is told by Mitchum Huntsburger that she doesn't have what it takes to be a journalist. She gets in trouble with Logan and decides to take sometime off from Yale. All of this causes a problem between her and her mom. In this episode, Rory finally comes to her senses and gets her life back on track. Most importantly she her and Lorelai make up! Also in this episode April appears. She shows up at the diner and takes a piece of Luke's hair to do a DNA. It proves Luke is her father. A lot of people say this was the beginning of the end of the show. Even Amy Sherman Palladino(the creator and producer of the show for first 6 seasons) said she put in April to kill the show when it became apparent her and the WB weren't going to be able to work out a deal for her contract. But I like April and I like the side of Luke she brought out. After all it is the only chance we ended up getting to see Luke as a father :) .
5. Season 1 Episode 1- The Pilot
This is the episode where it all started! This is the episode where we meet most of the characters. This is also where the storyline is introduced. Everything looks very different(the town, Luke's Diner, and Lorelai and Rory's house) but it's a beautiful episode.
4. Season 4 Episode 22- Raincoats and Recipes
In this episode, the time has finally come for the Dragon Fly Inn to open! Lorelai has all of her friends plus her parents come to the inn for a trial run. It goes well(with the exception of a few things but I'm not giving away all the secrets lol) and the night ends with Lorelai and Luke's first kiss! Rory and Dean end up having sex despite the fact that Dean is married. It starts a crazy new relationship between. I hated it. I thought putting them back together like that was all wrong.
3. Season 4 Episode 21- Last Week Fights, This Week Tights
In this episode, Liz and TJ get married .They have a Renaissance wedding and it so fits them! But beautiful and actually looks like a lot of fun! Luke takes Lorelai as his date to the wedding. They dance and have a good time. Luke walks her home and finally ask her out. It's one of the most long awaited moments of the show! Jess shows up and ask Rory to run away with him but she won't.
2. Season 5 Episode 3- Written In The Stars
Luke and Lorelai go on their first date! It's very beautiful and for more Gilmore Girls fans long awaited lol. They begin to talk about the first time they met and Luke pulls out a horoscope Lorelai gave him the first time they met! There is a long very sweet story that goes with it and it was just an adorable moment!
1. Season 3 Episode 13- Dear Emily and Richard
I'm honestly not sure why I love this episode so much but I do! In this episode, Sherry gives birth to GiGi. Christopher is out of town and everyone else is busy so Rory ends up at the hospital with her and when it looks like Christopher isn't going to make it she panics and calls Lorelai who comes to the hospital as well. Christopher does make it though. This episode is full of flashbacks of when Lorelai found out she was pregnant, her pregnancy, when Rory was born, and when she left her parents her house. The first time I saw this episode it made me cry. I guess just seeing how far Lorelai had come was amazing and emotional. It gives you parts of the story that you didn't have before.
It was really hard to explain why I liked these episodes and there are probably a dozen more(if not more) that I could include. I've never watched a show that relaxed me or made me as happy as Gilmore Girls. I love that so much of the show is set in Fall and Winter. I love the special thing Lorelai has with snow because it's the same way for me. I love the quick pace and the witty humor. I love how each of the characters are so different and yet share so many similarities and there are things about all of them you can relate to. I love all the individual stories inside the bigger story line. I love all the story women. Lorelai and Rory of course but Emily Lane, Sookie, Mrs. Kim, Miss Patty, Paris. All of the women are strong women. I love how several actors and actresses have play 2 or more parts on the show. The make up and costumes are usually good enough you can't tell my looking at them but I can usually tell by their voices. I've watched the show from beginning to end many times and it just never gets old!
Back to reality now, I've been reading back through old blogs and was struck by how sad and lonely I sounded. But that's passed. I'm actually in a good place right now. I was supposed to go to WTAMU this Fall but upon searching my heart I realized that wasn't what I wanted. I was again doing what I was supposed to. So the plan is now to get a job. I'm going to start off applying at daycares and go from there. I plan to save up and go through a course to become a midwife. But it's expensive and there is no financial aid. So it's going to be awhile before that happens. I'd love to be a nanny for someone but I think that would require me to have a drivers license and possibly a car. I could do the license pretty quickly but the car is another story. I guess we'll see what I can find. My biological clock is ticking so to speak. I want babies. I have always wanted babies. For reasons I am not discussing on here, I believe that isn't going to be an easy thing for me. The older I get the more I worry it won't happen. I think the funny thing is I feel no rush to get married. I feel people rushing me but I don't feel a rush myself. But the Babies thing is another story. Well that's all for now! Hopefully I'll write more often now.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Moving on....
At least trying! "Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again" I saw that on my Facebook page earlier and I find it to be so true. I've been out of school nearly 3 semesters now, so a year and half. I guess that wasn't really a failure per say but it felt like one for me at the time. It took me a long time to get the courage to go to college. I worked hard and really loved it! Sure it wasn't always rainbows, it was hard! But I was doing something with my life, I was making something of myself. I was really angry when they told me after 2 years that I couldn't come back because of something as stupid as not having a graduation date on my transcript! I still think it was stupid and I always will. But having this year and half to reevaluate my life and where I'm going has been invaluable. I am NOT the same person I was a year and half ago. I don't think there is a year and half in my life that I have changed more.
I think I have a much better understanding of who I am than I ever have before. Some of things I already knew, I just didn't want to deal with it and some things I didn't know. But that isn't something I'm discussing right now lol. Over the last year or so it's started to occur to me that I don't really have that much desire to be a teacher. I chose education I think because it seemed easy and fairly quick. I don't feel like I really thought it out that well. I don't think I really understood what I was getting myself into. I've been trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I thought about being a writer and at some point I'd still LOVE to do that. I've thought about several things but psychology/psychiatry kept coming back to me. The more I've looked into it the more I like the idea of it. I can do several things with a degree in psychology. I like the idea of working with trouble youth or working with children in some way. It's going to be hard I know that. It's going to take a long time and I am getting a late start. But I believe I can do it! For the first time I am excited at the thought of something. I'm excited for the future. I'me excited to see where life will take me!
I wonder where I would be if I hadn't been made to stop going to college. I would have been almost done with my degree, a degree I didn't really want. I was so mad when this happened and could see nothing good coming from it. But I found myself last night thanking God for this chance to have some time to think about what I really wanted and a chance to hit rewind and start over. Not many people get that chance and I am so thankful to get that chance! It's funny how things that feel like the worst thing ever, often turn out to be the start of something so much better!
I took my GED test 3 weeks ago tomorrow, hoping to get the results tomorrow and hoping I passed! The plan is to go back to Clarendon College and finish my associates degree and then transfer to the undergraduate psychology program at West Texas A&M! Let's home things go as planned this time LOL! I'm ready to move on with my life. I'm ready to move out on my own, start a career, and find a new beginning! I think that is long over due, mostly do to my own decisions! But it's time to step out of my own way and start a new chapter!
I think I have a much better understanding of who I am than I ever have before. Some of things I already knew, I just didn't want to deal with it and some things I didn't know. But that isn't something I'm discussing right now lol. Over the last year or so it's started to occur to me that I don't really have that much desire to be a teacher. I chose education I think because it seemed easy and fairly quick. I don't feel like I really thought it out that well. I don't think I really understood what I was getting myself into. I've been trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I thought about being a writer and at some point I'd still LOVE to do that. I've thought about several things but psychology/psychiatry kept coming back to me. The more I've looked into it the more I like the idea of it. I can do several things with a degree in psychology. I like the idea of working with trouble youth or working with children in some way. It's going to be hard I know that. It's going to take a long time and I am getting a late start. But I believe I can do it! For the first time I am excited at the thought of something. I'm excited for the future. I'me excited to see where life will take me!
I wonder where I would be if I hadn't been made to stop going to college. I would have been almost done with my degree, a degree I didn't really want. I was so mad when this happened and could see nothing good coming from it. But I found myself last night thanking God for this chance to have some time to think about what I really wanted and a chance to hit rewind and start over. Not many people get that chance and I am so thankful to get that chance! It's funny how things that feel like the worst thing ever, often turn out to be the start of something so much better!
I took my GED test 3 weeks ago tomorrow, hoping to get the results tomorrow and hoping I passed! The plan is to go back to Clarendon College and finish my associates degree and then transfer to the undergraduate psychology program at West Texas A&M! Let's home things go as planned this time LOL! I'm ready to move on with my life. I'm ready to move out on my own, start a career, and find a new beginning! I think that is long over due, mostly do to my own decisions! But it's time to step out of my own way and start a new chapter!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
When the bottom falls out....
I'll just go ahead and warn your it's been an awful week and this blog is going to full of emotion! I can't promise that it'll be nice. I can't promise you'll like what you read. If you don't hit the X at the top right of the screen, it won't bother me.
Well I said it's been a hard week but really this started 2 weeks ago tomorrow. My sister went to the ER thinking she had a kidney infection. They did a urinalysis and blood work and both came back fine. They tested her HCG levels and they came back fine. They decided to an U/S and found only a sac. No baby and no heartbeat. Nothing. They told her she was probably just not as far along as she thought she was. They also found a blood cloth in the placenta and put her on bed rest for that. I think I knew then something wasn't right but I couldn't let go of hope. She went the next Tuesday and had another U/S done and they saw the same thing. They told her to come back in a week and they'd do another U/S. We all hoped and prayed that they'd find a baby and everything would be fine. Tuesday she went back and not only did they not find a baby or heartbeat but the sac had basically stopped growing. AKA the pregnancy is not viable. Only thing left to do is either let nature take it's course or for her to have a D&C.
You know I thought I understood heartbreak. I thought I'd had my heartbroken before. The truth is I don't think my heart has ever hurt this bad. I've gone to church all my life. I always believed God was there. I always believed that he loved us. I always believed I could lean on and trust in him. But for the first time in my life I'm not even sure I believe that any more. My faith was slumping before this for alot reasons. Church has become something I get through anymore rather than something I enjoy. This has been the hardest 18 months of my life. It has been one heartbreak after another. I've lost 6 people in 18 months including my niece or nephew and we found out also this week that my grandma has terminal cancer and they've given her 6 months to live. I thought this baby was finally the light at the end of this gut wrenching long dark tunnel. I thought finally we were going to get some happiness and joy in our lives! What can bring more joy than a tiny sweet soft pink baby to cuddle and love? I look around and all these women get pregnant, have normal healthy pregnancies, and babies and live happily ever after. So why couldn't it be that way for us? Why couldn't just this one thing go completely as planned? Why couldn't for once something good happen for my family? What on earth did we do to deserve this? I dreamed about that baby. I dreamed about holding, cuddling, and loving that baby! I always dreamed it was a boy. We all felt pretty strongly it was a boy. We were all so excited about that baby! That baby would have been so so so loved!! WHY??? Why if God loves us and cares for us would he let this happen? Why would he let us all get so attached this baby and then snatch him/her away? I'm so angry! Words fail to describe how angry I am with God right now! I try to pray and there is nothing but anger! I even find myself telling him how much I hate him and I feel no remorse for it! Right now in this moment I hate him and I hate his stupid plan! His stupid plan must be to make me miserable and heartbroken! I don't even know if I believe he is really there. Maybe he is just something someone millions of years ago dreamed up to comfort themselves and it's just been passed on. Maybe we all are here by chance with no reason or purpose. At this point I really don't know. What I do know is my family is once again heartbroken! What I do know is my sister is experiencing something that I would never want anyone to ever go through and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it! So where are you God? Because I sure don't feel you here!
I don't even know how I am going to get through this! I think I've officially hit rock bottom. If gets lower than this I don't know even know how I'll be able to function or if I'll want to! The truth is I'm tired. I'm physically, emotionally, psychologically, and in every other way possible tired. I don't know how much more I can handle before I crack and just completely lose it. I feel like I'm on the edge right now and one wrong move and I'm going to go crashing down! This used to be my favorite time of year but the last 2 years it seemed to be God's perfect time to throw my life into turmoil! I just need some peace and quiet for awhile. I need life to slow down. I need to get my feet back under me because right I feel like I'm slipping and sliding!
I don't know what else to say! Please hug the people you love and tell them you love them! We don't know what tomorrow is going to bring!
RIP our sweet little angel baby! I will never ever forget you or stop loving you!
Well I said it's been a hard week but really this started 2 weeks ago tomorrow. My sister went to the ER thinking she had a kidney infection. They did a urinalysis and blood work and both came back fine. They tested her HCG levels and they came back fine. They decided to an U/S and found only a sac. No baby and no heartbeat. Nothing. They told her she was probably just not as far along as she thought she was. They also found a blood cloth in the placenta and put her on bed rest for that. I think I knew then something wasn't right but I couldn't let go of hope. She went the next Tuesday and had another U/S done and they saw the same thing. They told her to come back in a week and they'd do another U/S. We all hoped and prayed that they'd find a baby and everything would be fine. Tuesday she went back and not only did they not find a baby or heartbeat but the sac had basically stopped growing. AKA the pregnancy is not viable. Only thing left to do is either let nature take it's course or for her to have a D&C.
You know I thought I understood heartbreak. I thought I'd had my heartbroken before. The truth is I don't think my heart has ever hurt this bad. I've gone to church all my life. I always believed God was there. I always believed that he loved us. I always believed I could lean on and trust in him. But for the first time in my life I'm not even sure I believe that any more. My faith was slumping before this for alot reasons. Church has become something I get through anymore rather than something I enjoy. This has been the hardest 18 months of my life. It has been one heartbreak after another. I've lost 6 people in 18 months including my niece or nephew and we found out also this week that my grandma has terminal cancer and they've given her 6 months to live. I thought this baby was finally the light at the end of this gut wrenching long dark tunnel. I thought finally we were going to get some happiness and joy in our lives! What can bring more joy than a tiny sweet soft pink baby to cuddle and love? I look around and all these women get pregnant, have normal healthy pregnancies, and babies and live happily ever after. So why couldn't it be that way for us? Why couldn't just this one thing go completely as planned? Why couldn't for once something good happen for my family? What on earth did we do to deserve this? I dreamed about that baby. I dreamed about holding, cuddling, and loving that baby! I always dreamed it was a boy. We all felt pretty strongly it was a boy. We were all so excited about that baby! That baby would have been so so so loved!! WHY??? Why if God loves us and cares for us would he let this happen? Why would he let us all get so attached this baby and then snatch him/her away? I'm so angry! Words fail to describe how angry I am with God right now! I try to pray and there is nothing but anger! I even find myself telling him how much I hate him and I feel no remorse for it! Right now in this moment I hate him and I hate his stupid plan! His stupid plan must be to make me miserable and heartbroken! I don't even know if I believe he is really there. Maybe he is just something someone millions of years ago dreamed up to comfort themselves and it's just been passed on. Maybe we all are here by chance with no reason or purpose. At this point I really don't know. What I do know is my family is once again heartbroken! What I do know is my sister is experiencing something that I would never want anyone to ever go through and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it! So where are you God? Because I sure don't feel you here!
I don't even know how I am going to get through this! I think I've officially hit rock bottom. If gets lower than this I don't know even know how I'll be able to function or if I'll want to! The truth is I'm tired. I'm physically, emotionally, psychologically, and in every other way possible tired. I don't know how much more I can handle before I crack and just completely lose it. I feel like I'm on the edge right now and one wrong move and I'm going to go crashing down! This used to be my favorite time of year but the last 2 years it seemed to be God's perfect time to throw my life into turmoil! I just need some peace and quiet for awhile. I need life to slow down. I need to get my feet back under me because right I feel like I'm slipping and sliding!
I don't know what else to say! Please hug the people you love and tell them you love them! We don't know what tomorrow is going to bring!
RIP our sweet little angel baby! I will never ever forget you or stop loving you!
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