Well I decided to experiment with some of the settings on here and decided I like the letters bold and blue, so there ya go lol.
Anyway on to what I was going to write about. I've been thinking a lot the last few days about what I want this new chapter to look like and about my dreams, hopes, wants, and all of that. So I thought I'd discuss some of that on here.
I feel like the first thing I need to do is figure out exactly what I want to do with my life and how I'm going to make that happen. When I first went to college my major was education. I was thinking I wanted to be a Kindergarten teacher. But as time went on I just wasn't sure. I took an unplanned unwanted break from school and during that time I decided to change my major to Psychology for some weird reason lol. So the Associates degree I'm just a few hours shy of completing is in Psychology. But I have zero desire to do that. I thought until maybe 6 or 8 months ago I had no desire to go back to teaching either. But about 6 or 8 months ago someone mentioned getting my education degree and doing something in the arts. The arts were always my thing(and I mean that I enjoyed them, not that I was necessarily that good at them lol). In elementary school, I was always excited to perform in the plays(even though I despised my music teacher lol) and I did tons of musicals at church. The last 3 years I had major parts in the musicals at church. I really loved it. When I was in 5th grade you got to choose between continuing in music or switching to band(they don't do that in 5th grade here any more and I really think kids are missing out because of that but that's another story for another day lol). I switched to band and again really loved it. When I was in 6th grade you not only got to choose between band and choir but also theatre arts and art. I chose theatre. I knew nothing about it but quickly fell in love and I took it from then until I left public school half way through my junior year. So I've thought about finishing my teaching degree and being an elementary music teacher. I've also kind of thrown around the idea of going a step further and teaching theatre at the middle school level. However I'm not sure if I have enough experience to do that. But I've certainly thought about it and still am. All I know is music and threatre(and a theatre teacher and a couple of band directors) very much helped shape who I am today and I'd love to be able to give that experience to a child. My middle school years were very hard for me and band and theatre and the bonds I made in those classes, were the things that got me through and kept me sane. I have a huge heart for kids who are bullied and I'd love to be able to give them an outlet like I had. I guess the main reason I stray away from this dream is because I worry I wouldn't be a good teacher because of my personality(introverted shy soft spoken), especially in a subject like music or theatre where you normally only see outgoing bubbly teachers(and especially at a higher level then elementary school). But it's certainly something that I have thought about a lot and keeps coming back to me. So we'll see what happens.
However I also have another area that I've very interested in and that's pregnancy, labor, and post postpartum care. I've had a dream for a long time about being a midwife. Recently though I also started looking at being a doula. I'm very nurturing and that really appeals to me. The issue with both of those things is the classes for them are very expensive and there is no financial aid, so I don't know how likely that is. Also I'd have to be able to attend so many births for both and in this area that might be an issue. But it does interest me. I just think it's such a beautiful thing and I'd love to be able to help women as they are going through that process.
So that's what I'm thinking about right now as far as careers(although lets be real with me that could change in 30 minutes lol). But now I want to talk about other dreams and hopes and wants I have.
One of the biggest dreams I have is to travel. I'm not talking once a year, get a hotel or rent cabin or house or something for a week travel. I'm talking buy an RV and spend a year or two just exploring this country and the countries around it. I want to see places and experience different states. I want to see places like Yellowstone, Yosemite, Mt. St. Helens(and Mt. Rainer), the Grand Canyon, the ocean, Maine in the Fall, South Dakota, places in Canada. I also would love to travel in other countries. I'd love to see Japan and enjoy their culture(although I hate fish and most of things they eat...so that might be a problem lol) and see Mt. Fuji and the cherry blossoms blooms. I want to see China and the great wall. I want to see Egypt and the Pyramids. You get the picture lol. Something about being a nomad and just doing me for awhile really really appeals to me.
I also dream of one day writing a book. I love to write(hence why I have a couple blogs and so many other journals lol). I'd love to be able to have a book published. This kind of goes back to careers but I've also thrown around the idea of writing for newspapers or some other kind of journalism(only print though). I never really thought that would appeal to me but now at almost 30 it does.
My biggest dream though is to be a mother. As long as I can remember I've wanted children. I know your thinking hold on Melinda, don't you want to get married first and the answer is if the right person comes along, sure. But I would be completely okay with being a single mother if that doesn't happen. To be really honest, there is a big part of me right now that isn't sure I ever want to do the relationship thing again lol. I know that sounds nutty and I'm sure as time goes on, that'll change. But right now it's just not on my radar. I'm not looking for anyone and it's going to be a very very long time before I'm ready for that. But I'm going to be 30 in 6 weeks. At one point, I wanted to be done having kids by 30 or at least 35 lol(yeah I know that's insane now but I was like 14 at the time, give me a break :) ). But more than that I have reason to believe me having a baby myself is not going to be easy and it's only going to get harder the older I get...and that scares me. I want to foster and adopt one day. I've always wanted to do that as well. But I can't lie I want to experience being pregnant and doing all of that at least once. So yes if I could get settled and working and doing well financially and the right person hasn't come along, I would be willing and happy to look into doing IUI or if IVF to have a baby on my own. But unfortunately that's way way way in the future lol.
That's the best part of opening a new chapter I think, everything is wide open. I feel really free. I feel like the world is mine to explore. I feel like it's time to do me and find me and get me together. I'm excited and hopeful. We'll see how long it takes for the world and reality to beat that out of me LOL.
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