My quotes

Well we have been without internet again...9 days so far(finally got it back on, on day 9). It's been harder this time, which took me by surprise to be honest. It gives me too much time to think. Some of the thinking is good and some of it isn't lol.

It also gave me time to work on decorating my room more and by that I mean more quotes and more pictures of my nephews :).
I started putting up quotes on my walls long before we moved here. But it was just a few. My walls look like a patchwork quilt of quotes now LOL. Which probably tells you how my life has been gone lately :). It started off as positive quotes and now it's become quotes that mean something to me. A lot of these quotes I think most people would probably not want on their wall or understand why someone would want them on their wall. I guess that's me for ya lol. They are in sections for specific reasons. There in a specific order for a specific reason. It's kind of become an obsession lol. When I look at them it makes me feel good. When I look at them it feels like a small portion of my brain come to life.

I think one quote sums it all up though
"Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing. And in between the amazing and the awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful ordinary life. And it's breath takingly beautiful!"

That quote is in big hot pink letters right square in the middle of the quotes that are most important to me. It represents everything all the quotes mean to me. We want life to be nice and neat and easy. But that's not reality and it's not what's best for us. If we all got to sit and be happy and healthy and loved and our hearts whole and unbroken, we'd be awfully lazy, ignorant, and many other not nice things. The things that leave us awake at 4AM are the things that shape up and teach us. Heartbreak makes us more sympathetic. When people break our hearts it makes more grateful for the people in our lives we love and more grateful for the fact that things are good between us at that moment. But sometimes the people you love most and who love you most, are the ones that hurt you the worst and from that you learn forgiveness.

Most people who put quotes around them put just quotes people see as positive. But the quotes on my walls are a combination of both. There are positive quotes such as the one above but there are other quotes. They are quotes that represent hard things for me and lessons learned and lessons I'm still working on learning. The represent things I love and things that make me, me. They represent me and my life and my journey. They remind me how blessed I am and they remind me that no matter how bad things are to never ever forget that.

 They are good therapy. They are good therapy to write and hang up. They are good therapy to have where I can see them and read them whenever I want. They are good therapy to give me the feeling of having control over something when I feel like everything else is out of control. I get to decide what goes up there, what color it's written in, if it's in cursive or not, where it goes on the wall.  I'm the kind of person who wants to fix things and sometimes things can't be fixed with simple actions. Sometimes they take time. But this gives me something to do in the mean time. I see my quotes as like the marks on a wall people use to show how much their kids grow from year to year. I started off printing off quotes but that's not cheap when you're on a budget. So I started writing them on simple computer paper with permanent marker and I realized it was far more therapeutic if I wrote it. When I first started writing them I'd write them and rewrite them over and over trying to make them perfect. If I messed up I started over. But I realized that marking out the mess up and continuing on made me feel better for some reason.  Different quotes jump out at at different times and sometimes it's for completely different reasons than why I put them up there. Some quotes I can't even remember why I put them up there in the first place. I know it looks like an unorganized, ugly, chaotic mess to some people but it's mine and it means so much to me.

So if you have an empty wall and don't know what to put on it, make it your own. Put up pictures and quotes and things that make you feel good and make you feel blessed and make you think of good and bad times. But don't forget to include things that represent hard times and lessons learned because those are just as if not more important.  You won't regret it :).