Hey guys! I decided I needed to start a new blog for my non-softball related thoughts and keep my softball blog to softball. I guess I will start off by telling you a little bit about myself. I will be 24 a month from Thursday. I am a quiet person. But don’t mistake my quiet nature as being a sign of me being dumb or that I am stuck up. Neither one is the case. Also don’t assume because I don’t say anything that I don’t have an opinion on the matter. I almost always do but you probably wouldn’t like what I had to say lol. I don’t have a lot of friends…ok I really don’t have any. It’s not that I don’t want friends because I do! But I don’t trust people easily and people are generally not willing to do the work to gain my trust. Maybe my expectations are just too high. But I’ve been used and hurt way too many times. When you are young friendships are just so easy but it seems the older you get the harder they get. In fact, I’ve about decided it’s impossible. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll likely never have another friend that I can spend lots of time with and tell everything to. I’ll likely never again have a friend who I know I can count on all the time. I’ll likely never have a friend again that isn’t just my friend when I can help them but is also there when I need them. It sucks! I would love to have someone I could just go grab a cup of coffee and chat with. I would love to have someone who takes the time to get to know me and love me for me. Someone who loves me for the person I am and not what I can offer them. I’ve learned to deal with that. I have a lot great things in my life and I am very blessed and thankful!
I have a wide variety of interest. I love to read! I’ve been reading since I was 3. I can remember when I was in elementary school my then best friend and I would ride our bikes to the public library atleast 3 times a week. We would devour 40-50 books a summer a piece easy! We would turn on some Backstreet Boys or NSYNC and read for hours. Books have always been my escape. For a few moments I could be anybody and anywhere I wanted to! The writing came later for me. I had a really hard time learning to write and was in probably the end of 1st grade or maybe even beginning of 2nd grade before I could even write my name. Once I finally did learn to write a new problem developed. I couldn’t spell. I struggled through 2nd and 3rd with teachers who told me I just wasn’t trying hard enough. 4th grad was different. That was the first year we switched classes. My homeroom teacher was awful and should have never been allowed around children period. But for reading and spelling I went to another teacher named Mrs. Foote. She caught on to my issues with spelling very quickly. She knew I was trying really hard and she spent many many hours helping me. Without her I am afraid I’d still spell like a 2nd grader! My spelling is still awful but without her it would have been so much worse! I didn’t start to really enjoy writing until I was in middle school. I was bullied something awful in middle school and writing was a way for me to deal with what was going on. I’ve never been good at talking or expressing myself verbally. I had a lot built up anger, depression, sadness, and heartbreak. I had to get that out to even survive. It was hard enough with the ability to write my feelings down. Had I not used that, I don’t know if I would have survived. Another thing I enjoy is sports obviously. No I am not athlete lol! But I do love to watch. My favorites are softball and football! I have so many other interests but this blog is already getting long lol!
I’ve been in college for 2 years now. I love it! It’s not always fun but gaining knowledge and making something of myself is amazing and I am so blessed to have that opportunity! That has never been clearer to me than now. I homeschooled for half of my junior year and all of my senior year. I loved it! It was amazing to have so much control of how and what I learned and when I learned. It was amazing to be able to learn without dealing with other annoying students and dealing with bullies! However my transcript doesn’t have a graduation date and because of that I now have to sit out a semester. It sucks! But it is what it is. I am going to get my GED and I am going to come back better than ever next semester. I have dreams, wants, and desires and I am going to achieve those things! I am an education major. I have people ask me if I always wanted to be a teacher and the honest answer is no. I’ve always loved kids but teaching was not something that ever occurred to me. But as I began to try to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, I knew I wanted to be around children and I wanted to make a difference in their lives. As I thought about my childhood I realized that some of the people who had the biggest impact on my life were teachers. 2 impaticular made a huge impression on me and changed my life, my 5th grade teacher and my Theatre teacher from 6th- sophomore year of high school. So I decided I wanted to do the same thing with my life! I’ll be honest looking back 10 years ago I would have never guessed I’d be here. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing or place, it’s just not what I wanted or even want right now.
Anyway I think that is enough for tonight! I will right more later! Hope you guys are all doing well!
